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soliloquy of my heart [entries|friends|calendar]
xmarkitzerox

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kids these days...i tell ya! [13 Aug 2004|02:21pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so i haven't written in a while so i guess the first thing i should share is the couple of days i spent with homie. be prepared dudes...


1. in a word: gary.
2. "oh that's dan!" --- "dan, dan."
3. targét.
4. "we just saved a volvo from a cart... again."
5. ashley rene dargay left the mall without purchasing a cd.
6. ash tripping on nothing... i've perfected that.
7. POWER RANGERS!
8. lick n' stick: "i just wish i could lick my arm so i could put on my tattoo..."
9. "we're goin to africa!"
10. "emo nurses to save the world!"
11. argyle.
12. i lost my coke...then found it under the seat when we got home.
13. ashley lost her no fur button. 'tis a shame.
14. i STILL feel insecure in ashley's house.
15. me: "i need company to go downstairs."
16. the quarter jar.
17. ashley thinking i said, "may i service you." when i said, "may i help you" to her dog.
18. foamy: someone should stab you in the eye with a really hot french fry.
19. me: "what is that in your shirt"
ash: "hah it's a dryer sheet!"
20. me: "lady dog"
ash: "mother-doer"
me: "prostitute!"
ash: "oh yea cause i'm out working the streets tonight."
21. measuring our tounges...
22. the horizontal lambada.
23. confessions of a teenage drama queen.
24. me: "i think i have this exact container at home"
ash: "really?" cause it's tupperware and it's nationwide."
25. me: "UGH"
ash: "seriously ash you can't do that."
[i go in her room, closes door partially, and trips over her laundry holder]
me: [even louder] "UGH!"
26: ash and i are totally going to africa!
27: me: "emo nurses!"
28: watching mallrats and tomb raider.
29: the long walk home...
30: timon and pumba!
31: breaking into my house.
32: getting beeped at while walking...
33: shop-rite.
34: me: "are you seeing the hair on zach that's not there!?"
35: ash: "it's chocolate whip cream!"
me: "oh snap..."

there's prolly more, but its been a while therefore i can't remember. onto the next thing...ummm i dont think there is a next thing. oh yeah! my weekend at melissa's...

hiiiiiiiii
shiiiit man
MIDIRing Tones!
slow motion fo' me.
being dropped off at a stranger's house then walkin thru the woods and creeping into melissa's car.
hanging out with melissa's parentals.
"uhh adam there's some stranger in your computer room"
layin on the air mattresses while they deflated
"uhh we need that thing -makes twisting motion with hands- you know...that thing to get the tire off!"
going thru my old neighborhood (sadness overcame me cuz i miss it)

that might be it...i'm sure there's more and i prolly just can't say it, for risk of getting yelled at by my friends.

ummm i'm getting my tattoo on the 28th i think. school starts on sept 2, gotta change some of my classes cuz they suck. i go to get my license aug 23. i got a car yesterday...i just still have to pay for it. HAHA! ummm november 19...me, ashley, and adam lazzarra...DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE! :-)

thats all for now folks...i'm too tired to type anymore.


Love.

( --never really did ever quite get that far.)

[04 Aug 2004|09:37am]
[ mood | dorky ]

Well well well...its been a while since i've written. been busy, i guess. workin mostly. havent been feelin too well. but as of right now, i feel good!!! don't have to work today, tomorrow, or friday. me and ash are goin shoppin tomorrow and then im stayin at her house, super uber duper excited for that one.

saturday i have to work 1-5:30 but afterwards i'm goin to melissa's till monday, so0o pumped for that WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! haha i have no idea what we're doin yet, but its gonna be guaranteed fun cuz we're just cool like that, yup...untouchable biatch!

so things with dan just arent gonna work out...i cant do it, i dont know. i just came to the conclusion that i need to stop pursuing things that most likely aren't going to happen, but i just grow so darn impatient. i finally told crystal about what happened between tom and i. she was so0o upset and hurt, but i couldnt lie for him anymore...i wouldnt. he's mad but whatever i dont care. i want nothing to do with him anymore...too much pain.

ummmm jackie and i went on a date the other night...it really was a date, i paid for everything cuz some BLONDE forgot her money! haha, j/k i luv ya jackie!!! we went to see the notebook and she cried like a little baby. i didnt cry, but it was sad. i was crying on the inside. we had lotsa fun. when we got home we chilled and then went outside and sat on the sidewalk in front of my house. we played cards and some PSYCHO STALKER BITCH called her while we were at the movies but refused to pick up her phone when jackie called her back, so she called her from my cellular and guess what?! THE BITCH PICKED UP...forkin people...i tell ya! so that was interesting. then our lovely time outside was cut short by an f-ing skunk. so we went inside and made sundaes cuz we're cool like that. then we went to sleep. and she went home the next day around 5ish...after we almost got raped at dunkin donuts in broad daylight...yeah, its a long story so i wont type it!

current obsessions:
-"when angels fuck and devils kiss" by jack off jill
-alexisonfire
-fallout boy
-daphne loves derby
-"clark gable" by the postal service
-"they perch on their stilts daring me to break custom" by saosin
-atreyu
-of montreal
-hellogoodbye (8/28 BABBYYYY!!!)
-from first to last
-brandston
-hawthorne heights
-planes mistaken for stars

^thats just to name a few! mwhahaha i think thats all for now, i'll try to write more often...we'll see how that goes.


Love.

(1 Maybe I should hate you for this-- - --never really did ever quite get that far.)

[26 Jul 2004|08:12pm]
A - Age: 17
B - Band listening to right now: hawthorne heights

C - Career future: i have no idea right now

D - Dad's name: ron.

E - Easiest person to talk to: sars or my homie.

F - Favorite song: hawthorne heights "silver bullet", straylight run "extentionalism on prom night", bright eyes "lover i dont have to love" "a perfect sonnet", and brand new "guernica"
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: bears

H - Hometown: hamburg, new jersey...i miss that town.

I - Instruments: nope.

J - Job: cashier at shoprite!

K - Kids: not at this point in time.

L - Longest car ride ever: don't remember.

M - Mom's name: nancy

N - No. of people you slept with: thats quite personal thank you very much!

P - Phobia[s]: being trapped anywhere. dying alone...

Q - Quote: "Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

R - Reason to smile: my friends.

S - Song you sang last: "the transition" by hawthorne heights

T - Time you wake up: whenever i decide to roll outta bed.

U - Unknown fact about me: im not sure...depends on who you are and what you know about me.

V - Vegetable you hate: brussel sprouts

W - Worst habit: procrastination

X - X-rays you've had: dentist, broken leg in 5th grade, and broken thumb just this year.

Y - Yummy foods: mcdonald's french fries, chocolate blizzard w/reeses peanut butter cups and peanut butter syrup, corn on the cob, chicken fingers...

Z - Zodiac sign: aquarius.
( --never really did ever quite get that far.)

[26 Jul 2004|01:41pm]
[ mood | melancholy ]

hey hey hey. today is gonna be a boring day so i might as well just write in this thang right now since nothing is gonna happen. i had my senior portraits done before and i thought i was gonna shoot the photographers. they are SO annoying. tilt your head, oh too much. BLAH!!! gimme a gun with this shit. i really wasnt in the mood to get that shit done because i hate smiling when i dont wanna...but oh well, another day, another fake smile. who the hell is keeping track? so anyway...last night was a bad night. i cried after i got offline cuz i found out that this guy i thought liked me isnt really interested in a relationship with me, so that sucks...oh well. i should be used to that by now, shouldnt i? anyway...i dont know what to do anymore. i'm so bored and i just wanna get out and do something. -sigh- i guess i'll just have to keep reminding myself to smile, and get up everyday and just live life...and soon enough maybe i won't have to remind myself to do all that stuff. i swear, if it wasnt for those few, but true, friends that i love to death...i'd be a fkn wreck!!! so this is for you guys...


and through the times i've faded and you've outlined me again you've just patiently waited, to bring me back and then the noise has broken my defense let me embrace salvation your voice has broken my defense.



without my friends...i would cease to exist.

and thats all she wrote.



Love.

(1 Maybe I should hate you for this-- - --never really did ever quite get that far.)

[25 Jul 2004|08:25pm]
[ mood | calm ]

so today was the homie reunion...and let me tell you, it was OFF the hook. :-) we watched empire records and grind cuz we're that cool. and i introduced my homie to foamy, to believe she's lived this long without having the pleasure of foamy!!! I MEAN C'MON! lol she made me dinner, and i thank her for touching dead cow...i think she heard it mooing. she also said a prayer for it, what a dork!!! i bought 20 cds yesterday at walmart and i have NONE left because me and homie exchanged cds. we are just too cool for that kind of shizzle! and we did OH SO MUCH on the mural. hahaha we were so0o exhausted. it has been oh so long since i've seen her and it was a smashing good time. it always is when i see her. so tomorrow i have off from work, maybe me and this guy will chill...i hope we hang out soon, cuz he's super duper and i think i may really like him. -sigh- anywayzzz i also have my senior portraits to get done. mom wants to teach me how to parallel park and do k-turns in the morning...lets hope i dont wreck the car. my eyes hurt so im gonna go and take out my contacts and do some stuff, maybe talk to the majj but thats highly doubtful. i think i might chop off my foot since i have 30 mosquito bites on my left foot only. yeah...i should have put socks like i wanted to, oh wellz...next time! catch ya'll on the flipside

Love.



"i got a single silver bullet shot right through my heart to prove i can survive without YOU." <---shove that in your pipe and smoke it mother do-er!!!!



ps...ashlee simpson is spastic and likes to have seizures while shooting her music videos...enjoy tards making millions of dollars while we sit and laugh at them....stupid lady dogs. THAT SHIT IS GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU STERILE!

( --never really did ever quite get that far.)

[25 Jul 2004|09:38am]
[ mood | content ]

QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN


so its sunday morning. i was gonna go to church for the first time in like over a year, but my mom was too into her cleaning so we didnt go (sorry dan!!!) i really wanted to go cuz i wanted to see dan sing in his band, that woulda been fun. another time though. so last night i had work till about 10:30 and i called sars when i got home and we talked till about 11:45 or somethin like that, i dont reaally keep track anymore with her, its too long! hahaha so umm yeah her sister got a new car and let me tell you, it is "a hot little number" haha gotta love liss!!! so today is gonna be a good day, my homie is coming over. i havent seen her in like a very long time ( oh hey there's a door and a wall. and oh jeez thats a step! hahaha) i think we're gonna start workin on the mural in my room, it's gonna be some bangin a-shizzle!!! mwhahaha i love being white and substituting words. not gonna lie, its a fun time. so yeah...last night at work was okay. i bagged for this kid like towards the end and we were talking, it was cool. he's a cool kid, i hope we hang out sometime. he drives a '93 civic YEYYYYY. so yeah, i think i have to go clean my room and shower and whatnot since my homie is coming over. i shall write more at another point in time.



tEWKSburry mwhahaha im too cool.

( --never really did ever quite get that far.)

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